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  Ellis didn’t respond, just kept rubbing soothing and soft patterns on my back and before long, I drifted off to sleep.

  I woke up to the strangest sensation. Groaning, I cracked open my eyes. All I could see was my room, nothing strange there. Rolling over, I found the source. I still had one shoe on, my pantyhose were all twisted and down around my knees. Then, it all came back to me piece by piece. The party, Ellis, fucking Ellis, falling asleep on Ellis…. Where was Ellis? Reaching out, I found the bed empty. Good, no awkward morning after.

  Sitting up, I tried to tame my unruly hair. Ugh, forget it. I kicked off my shoe and slipped off my stockings, tossing them on the floor before walking naked to the bathroom. After using the restroom, I walked back into my room to find Ellis sitting at the foot of my bed, looking like he just got out of the shower.

  “Well, hello there.” The smile on his face turned predatory as his eyes dropped to my naked body. He stood and closed the distance between us in two large steps. He smirked, “What a sight to be greeted by.”

  A finger trailed across my cheek, down my neck to circle a nipple that perked up, begging for more attention. “I was wondering where you ran off to.” I purred, holding back a moan as his other hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me against his fully clothed body.

  “I didn’t think it’d be a good idea to have your brother find me sleeping naked in his little sister’s room. And it’s a good thing because he was looking for me this morning. I have to leave for a while on club business.” Ellis dipped his head and bit the tender skin on the side of my neck.

  “I think that’s actually a good thing. I need to get my head on straight. Not that I didn’t enjoy last night. I still have a boyfriend and one night with you doesn't exactly change anything.” I winced knowing it sounded as bad out loud as it had in my head.

  “Oh. I get it.” Ellis clenched his jaw, stepping back from me. “You just used me to get off and now things go back to the way they were. I get it. Loud and clear."

  “Ellis…” Before I could say another word, he was gone, slamming the door behind him. Fuck, there you go screwing shit up again. I kicked one of my shoes from the night before. It slid across the floor, slowing silently to a stop. Not getting the release I was looking for, I spun and punched the wall as hard as I could. The pain that shot up my arm from the impact as the drywall crumbled, leaving a hole from my fist, gave me the relief I sought.

  Pissed at myself and the situations I got myself into, I threw on a pair of jeans, a tank top and my riding boots. Yanking my hair back into a painfully tight low ponytail, I stomped down the hall. I didn’t care how much noise I made. I let the garage door slam behind me, slapping the button on the wall before I climbed onto my bike backing it out of the garage as soon as the door raised high enough. Turning the key in the ignition, my baby roared to life. I peeled out, letting the gravel in the yard fling up behind me as I sped down the drive.

  I hadn’t meant to sleep with Ellis. It wasn’t supposed to happen. He complicated things, and I didn’t need any more of that right now. Ellis was a good man and I had feelings for him, but that didn’t mean that we should try to make anything out of it. I still had the whole Jeremiah situation to deal with. This was exactly why I told Ellis I wasn’t going to sleep with him in the first place. I knew it was a bad idea, whether for me or him, it didn’t matter. At least I figured out one thing, he wasn’t just trying to catch me because I was off limits. However, I realized that I had emotions to deal with, and a man like Ellis didn’t say things like he had said to me last night to just anyone. I had been around him long enough to know that he was going to take this hard. If I had more control, I would’ve told him no; I would've kept my pussy away from him. Instead, he’d found a chink in my control, and now shit was spinning farther out of control than before.

  I twisted the accelerator more, speeding down the road faster. The wind flipped my hair in my face like a mini whip, but it made me feel calmer than anything else would right now. I could see my knuckles swelling as a bruise formed from where I’d hit the wall, just one more reminder of my mistakes. If there was one thing I was good at, it was fucking my life up. The more pavement that flew past, the more clear my head became though.

  First thing I had to do was to end things with Jeremiah. I thought I had been madly in love with him. Being home and being able to do as I pleased, I saw that I wasn’t in love with him at all. I liked having someone there for me. It got lonely being so far away from home and having someone that wanted you made things a lot easier. It wasn't an entirely new revelation. I wanted to show him I wasn’t the same girl I had been while overseas. I let him scare me; I let him bully me around. That’s not the person I am, but I had let him do that to me. No more. I was ready to take back that control, and I was going to do it when he came to visit me. Even if it was simply not backing down when he got upset about the breakup, which he would inevitably do.

  Second thing I needed to do was to get all my plans together for my trip to DC. I wasn’t going to wait three months. I was leaving at the end of two months. I had no reason to stay here and only screw things up. I knew Patrick would be extremely upset when he found out about me and Ellis. That was his good friend and I was his sister. Sure, we were adults, but that wouldn’t change anything. Ellis was a bad boy who slept around and fought a lot. I would always be his little sister that he tried to protect, which was another reason to get out of town as soon as I could. I only had to wait until after Jeremiah’s visit because I didn’t want my fucked up relationship to get to my brother or his boys.

  Feeling better about things, I turned my bike around and headed back home. By the time I rolled back up to the house, Ellis was probably gone and hopefully I wouldn’t have to deal with him for a while. In fact, there were only a few men and women in the game room, so it was relatively quiet in the house. That’s how it stayed for the next two weeks. Barely anyone was at the house, and those who were came and went on their own schedules. I ran, worked out, and lounged about in my room. I would make food when I was hungry, but for the most part, food was the last thing on my mind. Patrick had left with Ellis, which explained the lack of people coming and going. It was always a lot more noisy and busy when the head man was around.

  It was the middle of the afternoon when I sat in a chair watching Brew and Monk play a game of pool together. They were the only reasons I really hung around in the common area any more. They didn’t ask questions, didn't press for information, just simply goofed off; allowing the serious issues in my life float to the back of my mind. I heard the doorbell, a rare sound in Patrick’s house. Usually people just came and went without a ring or knock. No one made a move to get it so I got up and shuffled to the door in a pair of sweat pants and t-shirt.

  Opening the door had a gasp slipping out of my mouth. Jeremiah stood on the other side. And he looked pissed. I swallowed and straightened my back. “Wow, I didn’t expect you for another two weeks. What a surprise!” I tried to feign excitement, but knew it fell short due to worrying why he’d shown up early without a warning.

  “You look beautiful, as usual.” Jeremiah wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me flush to his body. His lips brushed my ear momentarily before he nipped my ear, hard. A clear sign he wasn’t happy with me already. “Why don’t you show me around?”

  “Sure.” I stepped back from his arms and reached for his hand but he pulled it out of my reach. Another sign he wasn’t very happy with me. It's what he always did, deprive me of his touch. Sighing, I led him to my room so he could drop off his bag. He followed close behind me, making sure I was never more than a step ahead of him. I opened the door to my room and held my arm out so he could enter in front of me. “Here is my room."

  “Inside, now!” He commanded, sending a shiver down my back, but I lifted my chin and reminded myself that I wasn’t the person he thought I was. Obliging, I stepped in the room first. He followed right behind me, pulling the door closed behind him. “On the bed.” />
  “Jeremiah, you just got here. I thought you wanted to see the house.” I tried to distract him. I could feel his anger radiating off him.

  “No. I don’t care about the fucking house. What I do care to see is that my woman remembers her place. I could tell over the phone you’ve been getting sassy and thinking you are something you aren’t. Remember, I am the one in charge of this relationship.” He put a hand against the center of my chest, backing us both up as he spoke in a low, harsh voice until my back hit the wall opposite the door.

  “Come on. Don’t do this. I don’t want to fight first thing.” I lowered my head, knowing that’s what he would want. If I was honest, the fact that I was basically alone in the house with him scared me. When I had made my plans before, I thought I would be able to rely upon Patrick and Ellis to be there if things went awry.

  “Did I say you could talk?” Jeremiah spit angrily in my face as the back of his hand bashed into my cheek. I closed my eyes against the biting pain.

  “No. Jeremiah, I’m not doing this with you right now.” I braved a look up at him through my lashes. I knew he’d be upset, but if I was ever going to be free of him, I had to stand up to him. I tried to move around him, to escape.

  “Oh yes, we are.” Jeremiah grabbed my ponytail and snapped my head back. “I see you have forgotten just where you belong. Don't worry baby, I’ll make sure that it is loud and clear for you again.”

  Three days later, I laid in bed, curled on my side weeping as Jeremiah showered. I had yet to break down and show him my tears while he did as he pleased to my body. He hadn’t taken it easy on me, not for one minute. He was angry that I wasn’t with him day to day. He was angry that I thought I could stand up for myself. He was just angry and I got to be the one that he took it out on. As I laid there feeling my heart beat in my throbbing cheeks, thanks to his punches, I knew that this would be the last time. I didn’t care what it took, I wasn't going to live through this again. I just had to get through two more days before he left again. I would leave for DC right after he was gone. I wasn’t going to chance another visit from him. I wasn’t going to break up with him; I had no doubt that he would kill me if I tried.

  When the water shut off, I quickly wiped my tears and flipped the pillow over to try and hide the evidence of my tears from him. His heavy footsteps approached the side of the bed before I felt the bed shift as he lowered his weight onto it.

  “Baby, are you awake?” Jeremiah spoke quietly, it was the first time since his arrival that I’d heard the softer, loving tone from him; I didn't move though. I wasn’t falling for it. He rubbed my back gently. “Wake up. Come on, let’s go get some breakfast in town.”

  When I still didn’t respond, he shook my shoulder with more force than necessary. I rolled over and looked at him. Bile rose in my throat just looking at him, but I forced myself to sound nice to avoid more punishment. “Good morning.”

  “Get up. We are going to breakfast. I’m hungry.” Standing from the bed, Jeremiah moved to dress without another glance at me. I slowly climbed from the bed and showered quickly. Staring in the mirror, I knew there was no way I was going to be able to cover the bruises on my face but I did my best and made a mental note to wear sunglasses as much as possible. I pulled on jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt, I knew I’d be hot, but it’d cover the finger marks on my arms along with the other various bruises I had. Jeremiah sat playing with his phone until he decided that I was ready. Pulling me towards the door, he snatched up a pair of shoes for me to wear as I slipped on my sunglasses in case we ran into anyone. While I hadn’t seen anyone since he’d arrived, we'd also spent the majority of the time in my room. Venting his anger, so to speak. I didn’t even know if Patrick and Ellis had returned from their trip. Once in the hall, I tried to stop to put on the shoes he’d shoved into my chest before shutting my door, but he yanked my arm and continued to walk before I’d gotten them on.

  “There you are. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to leave your room.” Patrick’s voice had me lifting my eyes from the ground. I looked at him and shook my head slightly letting my hair drape over the side of my face closest to him.

  “She’s just been feeling under the weather,” Jeremiah answered for me as his arm moved around my shoulders, holding me close to his side.

  “If she is sick, where are you going?” Patrick stepped closer. I lowered my face; even though I was sure my hair, makeup and glasses covered the bruises, I didn’t want to meet his eyes. I was embarrassed that Jeremiah had me right back to where he wanted me so quickly. Not that Patrick knew, but I’d rather he didn’t.

  “I’m taking her to breakfast. Not that it’s any of your business.” Jeremiah dug his fingers into my shoulder and moved us around Patrick and out the front door. He started to pull me across the gravel drive to his rental car, but I pulled back from him.

  “Can I put my shoes on?” I pleaded with him. His short nails dug into my shoulder as he tugged me into what would appear to be an embrace to anyone looking. In reality, he pinched my stomach, hard. Punishing me for making him wait on me.

  “Hurry the fuck up,” he growled, releasing me before stomping to the car. I quickly slipped on the heels he’d grabbed. They were my least comfortable pair but always made my legs look nice, which is why he’d probably picked them. Couldn’t have his girlfriend looking anything but perfect, from afar of course. No one was allowed to get close to me when he was around. Flipping my hair over my shoulder, I walked towards the car. As I slid into the passenger seat, I caught a glimpse of Ellis and Patrick looking out the front window at us. Both men had their arms crossed over their chest and it looked like they were having a heated conversation.

  As usual when I was with Jeremiah, I did as he expected me to, which was to sit quietly in the car and through the meal. He ordered for me, since he knew what I wanted. Or more like it didn’t matter what I liked, I got what he gave me. When I just pushed the food around on the plate, he told me it was good I was watching what I was eating since it’d help me lose the fat on my belly and thighs. These were the kind of comments that made me want to leave, besides the way he physically treated me. Having time away from him and seeing the way even the rough and tough guys in the club treated their women better made putting up with Jeremiah that much harder.

  On the drive back to the house, he looked over at me with a smile. “You know, I’ve really missed being around you. I’ve been so lonely. You know I don't mean to hurt you, right? It’s just everything has been so stressful with you being gone and they are talking about sending us on a mission for a couple months, which means I won’t be able to see you for even longer."

  “Yes, J, I understand.” I spoke quietly, looking down at my hands that were folded in my lap.

  “What, you don’t believe me?” He reached over and ran a hand over the top of my hair.

  “I do. I believe you. It’s just been rough for me too. We both have had to adjust to being apart.” I looked at him, taking a deep breath and decided to see if maybe he would change if I hinted that I was miserable. “You’ve been harder on me since you showed up.”

  “That’s cause you were letting all those guys look at your tits.” His hand tightened in the back of my hair, making my eyes well up with tears involuntarily. “Then right from the start you wanted to start being sassy to me.”

  “J, I told you the night you arrived. I wasn’t letting them look at my boobs. I was completely covered wearing a tank top.” I tried to reason with him even though I knew it wouldn't do any good.

  “I knew letting you come home without me was a bad idea. You had to push for it though. You just had to do things your way. Now you have to pay for making me so jealous.” Jeremiah used his grasp on my hair to slam my face into the dashboard. My hands gripped my nose as blood started to trickle from it. Jeremiah let go of my hair and slapped my face, which only caused my slow nose bleed to start gushing through my fingers that were trying to stop it. A disgusted look crossed his face, �
��Clean that shit up before it gets everywhere. Once again, you have to let that sassy little mouth of yours say too much.”

  I dug in the glove box, finding a couple of napkins from a fast food restaurant and stuffed one up the nostril that was bleeding before using the other one to wipe up the blood on the dashboard. Thankfully, my nose wasn’t broken, this time, and I got the bleeding stopped before we got to the house.

  “Get out. I think you need to suck me off before I fuck that ass hard for spouting off your smart mouth.” Jeremiah climbed from the driver’s seat and stood next to my door waiting for me to get out. He didn’t open it or help me out; that would’ve required him to go out of his way.

  “Can I go get a bottle of water first, please?” I begged as he walked me into the house. I would try anything to delay going back to my room for a few more minutes so he could calm down, hopefully.

  “Make it quick. I’ll wait here.” Jeremiah stood at the bottom of the stairs and I quickly walked to the kitchen. Seeing it was empty, I breathed a sigh of relief. Disposing of my bloody tissues in the trash, I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, taking a deep gulp of it. I leaned back against the counter then pressed the cold bottle against my cheek to relieve the throbbing. Knowing I’d pushed my time limit before Jeremiah would be upset, I moved to walk out of the kitchen.

  “How was breakfast?” Ellis spoke from the other entrance to the kitchen. I spun to look at him through my shades.

  “Fine.” I answered as I rushed to leave. He quickly closed the distance between us and grabbed the side of my sunglasses, pulling them from my face.

  “Why are you wearing your sunglasses inside, Ryan?” Locking eyes with me, he tossed the glasses onto the counter behind him. I turned my head, trying to shield my bruises even while reaching around him to retrieve my glasses. “Look at me.” Ellis demanded.